Keep Moving On
by ravenroses
Summary: After the fall of Sunnydale, Buffy tries to kelp Xander cope with the loss of loved ones. Spoilers: Season 7


The war was over. Together, like they had in the past, they conquered great evil. Once more, they survived the end of the world. The Hellmouth had been destroyed and this one was permanently closed down.

For now, the remaining group of Scoobies lived in a hotel while they searched for places of their own to stay. Willow had left a few sheets with descriptions of houses on the coffee table before taking Dawn out shopping. Buffy flipped through them but found it difficult to focus. It had been weeks but the memories were still fresh in her mind. She closed her eyes tightly in hopes of fighting them off. It didn't work.

"Here, Buff," a male voice said.

The images vanished. She opened her eyes to see a one eyed Xander holding out a mug of hot tea for her. She smiled up at him and took it. The steam rose out of the mug telling her its contents were very hot. She brought it to her lips and let the steam hit the underside of her nose. It smelled sweet; he had put honey in it.

"Any luck?" he asked holding his own coffee mug with its mysterious contents in front of his face.

Buffy furrowed her brow and looked out at the paper work, "It's a whole bunch of words. I can't focus on it."

Xander laughed lightly, "I hear ya. This is not an easy thing to focus on after such crazy events."

He took a sip of his drink. Buffy brought the mug closer to her face. She blew on it gently but kept her eyes on Xander. He wasn't looking at her. His eyes stared at the table but they weren't seeing the paper work. He was probably remembering too.

Buffy figured her drink was undrinkable for the time being and put her mug on the table. He stirred at her movement but neither one said anything. She kneeled down on the floor to get closer to the coffee table so she could shuffle through the papers. She arranged them into two piles; the first held the ones she had looked at already but didn't like and the second was ones she had not looked at yet.

When the table looked neater, she picked up her mug. She reached a hand back to help herself up and wound up using Xander's knee for support. She pushed herself to a sitting position level with the couch. She sat back on the cushion. She went to lift her hand to help steady the mug but Xander grabbed a hold of it. Buffy blinked in surprise and looked down at their hands. She was very confused by this gesture and her eyes shot up to his face. Silently, he had been crying.

Buffy put the mug back on the table then turned to him. She took his glass and placed it next to her own. She carefully pulled her hand out of his and reached up for his neck. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her. He hugged her around the waist. They slid across the couch to close the gap between them.

She did not want to see one of her best friends cry. She blinked back her own tears as Xander began to calm down. He raised an arm up and wiped his face clean. He moved away from her and began laughing.

She sniffled and rubbed her hands on her jeans, "What's so funny?"

"This whole situation feels so unreal. We're here looking at houses. Sunnydale's gone and all that's left are me, you, Willow and Dawn. Faith's in prison and Giles is back in England. Who knows where the others ran off to."

She looked beyond him and out the big window of their suite, "Yeah. This will definitely take some getting used to." Then she smiled, "Well, you just said it yourself. We have each other, right? We'll be okay in the end."

Xander smiled at her too, "Right!" Then his face clouded over again.

Buffy frowned. That was not the reaction she wanted. She had hoped to clear his mind for the time being. There were more houses to look at before Dawn and Willow came back. It was hard on everybody but she wanted to see smiles when they were altogether.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to press him or not. She put a hand on his shoulder, "Hey." He looked up and she smiled warmly. It was difficult for her to manage but he needed support more than anything. His eye still held sadness even though his lips held a smile.

"It's hard to believe she's actually gone. I mean, I lost her before but now she's gone forever," Xander didn't cry as he spoke. His voice sounded hoarse like he was choking on the unshed tears.

She rubbed her hand on his shoulder. She knew what it was like to lose people. She had lost Angel on a couple of occasions. Riley had left her. Spike was gone too, just like Anya. Buffy sucked in her lower lip and nibbled on it. She was done crying. Too many tears were shed over the men who had once been in her life. Xander had lost a best friend in the past but never anyone he truly loved. This was new to him.

"I know it's hard," she started saying. It was difficult to come up with the words. "The pain might never go away but you are here and you can live as she'd want you to. You have us for support and Anya lived a long and happy life. She went out in a way that helped us, helped the world. She died a hero and she still loved you."

Xander stared down at his hands. Buffy wasn't sure if she had said the wrong thing or not. He wasn't moving and he didn't say anything either. She turned away, taking her hand off his shoulder as she moved. She turned her focus to the papers on the table again. She picked up the papers and shuffled some of them around.

Suddenly, Xander moved forward and pulled her into him. The papers in her hands were squished between them as he hugged her tightly. Buffy's eyes were wide in a bit of confusion. She began to relax when he didn't let go. She shifted her hands, dropping the papers, and wrapping her arms around him.

"Thanks, Buff," he said quietly. It was also the only thing he'd say.

There was movement and keys rattling at the door. She could hear Dawn and Willow outside, then the door opened. Xander let go of her. He looked better. The circle around his eye was still dark but there was a little bit of light in it that hadn't been there earlier. She smiled to herself as she attempted to straighten the papers that got crumpled.

"Hey guys," Willow greeted from the small hallway. Dawn bounded into the room and went straight to the bedroom, bags of clothes in hand. "Did you find any you liked?" the red head asked.

"Uh, no. No," Buffy responded. "We're still looking."

"Hey, Will, need help?" Xander asked getting to his feet and going toward her.

Buffy ignored the rest of the conversation. She shuffled the papers again and leaned back. She smiled. Xander did sound a bit more like himself; happy and goofy. If anything she had to say helped him, well, it was good for her. Maybe now the four of them could avoid the dangers of the supernatural world and live happily ever after. She laughed softly to herself. That idea sounded ridiculous, even to her.


End file.
